When I was 3, I was literally killed in a car accident right outside my front door. Over 2 minuets passed before the paramedics brought me back. I don't remember anything from that time, other than the knowing I am here for some reason. My mother, and best friend, died when I was 12 years old, the day before valentines day. i found her dead on the floor from a brain aneurism in our local VFW bathroom, where we had gone to listen to my father play music that night. A few years later I dropped out of high school to care for my heavily disable father, and I spent every day caring for his needs, until the day he died when I was 18. I was also 9 months pregnant at the time with my oldest son. My Son's father didn't show many signs of abuse until after my papa had passed away, and I was pregnant with our second son. After years of bruises and broken bones, and 4 children later, I finally gained the courage to leave him. I found myself in an abuse shelter with 4 babies, leaving my home of 20 years, and every physical possession I had ever owned. It took bringing me to my knees for me to find hope, love, and faith. I was saved shortly after. Through the works of many amazing people and blessings of God, my family is whole. Every time I have thought things were not going to work out, they did, and so I have stopped worrying, and now I just give it to God. Money is always tight, life is still stressful and difficult. I still have a son who feels the anger and sadness that a life of abuse can bring, wounds that cannot be seen or healed easily. I have never seen a cent of the tens of thousands of dollars that is owed to my children by their father, and stress is ever present every time I tell my kids that I am sorry we cant afford shoes that fit, or underwear that doesn't have holes, and I just wish I could be better for them. All of the pain and struggles are worth it though. I know I am blessed. We have not gone hungry in years, we may not have everything we want, but we have more than we need. My Children have a man in their life they consider their dad, and he is every bit a good man that they need to look up to and learn from. Blessings may not always be something we can see, but they are comforts we enjoy, security we feel, and love we share. I now help run a homeless shelter for other people who find themselves in the situation I was once in, and I volunteer for habitat for humanity to help provide other homeless with a place to call their own. I also sing in my church choir, work for the daycare, and volunteer whenever they need me and I am not in school. There will never be a way to repay the kindness that people have shown me and my family, but I want to do all I can. God Bless EVERYONE.
